are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I AM VODKA MAN
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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