I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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