small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
