wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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