This girl is more easily done than said...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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