How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
