Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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