i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am one with the molecules
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
