Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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