I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
