Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
