You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
