Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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