508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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