im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
