so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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