cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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