she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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