I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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