If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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