I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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