so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
