I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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