I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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