Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
