Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you inspire me to be a worse person
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
