shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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