it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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