420 ftw
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
