He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
