Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
