I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
