Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
