the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
