when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
