What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
