How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
