HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
