Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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