I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sober January is a disaster.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
