hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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