I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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