Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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