if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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