I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
How's work?
Spinning.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
