never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
