I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
