Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
