Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
