Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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