big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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